Cherry Poppin'
by Orange Sherbet
Summary: Because if there was one thing Sakura was sure of, it was that a shinobi trusted his penis more than his instincts.


**oOo**

**O**_r_a**n**_g_e

**OoO**

_Cherry Poppin'_

**oOo**

**S**_h_e**r**_b_e**t**

**OoO**

"It's been ages, Sakura."

I spun around at the sound of my name, my hand instinctively going to the kunai strapped to my thigh. _This will be a highly risky mission, _Tsunade had told me. I took her word for it.

But when my eyes met a pair of storm gray eyes, shock overrode any chance I had of fighting back.

"There's no way..." I gasped, staring at the totally intact-and _frickin' toned_-body of Sasori no Akasuna. "I KILLED you!"

Sasori smirked, freaking me out even more. Did he not know that he was supposed to be dead? This must be a dream. It _has _to be a dream! There's no way he's alive, I _stabbed his fucking heart!_

"Surprised to see me?" He asked cockily.

I picked my jaw up off the floor and stood up straight, hopefully gaining back some of whatever dignity my little episode lost me. "A bit. You had two swords shoved through you the last time we met, after all."

Sasori nodded, as if that was completely logical reasoning. "Point taken. I assume you are here on a mission?" He asked. Hah. As if that was any of his business!

"I'm not going to tell you that!" Mature, Sakura. Real mature.

He raised one of his stupid ginger eyebrows at me. "Well, I'd rather not assume the only other reason you'd be in a strip club..." He hinted. I blushed the same shade as my hair.

"I'm _undercover_, dumbass." I muttered.

"So hostile," Sasori teased, "What's got you in such an ominous mood?"

I gave him my best 'are you fucking serious?' look. "Well, it might have something to do with the fact that YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN A COFFIN, BURRIED SIX FEET UNDERGROUND. NOT ENJOYING A PINA COLADA AT A STRIP CLUB." I think I may have over done it.

Sasori looked down at his drink, then back up at me. "What's your problem with pina coladas?"

I rolled my eyes and, catching the eye of a new costumer, winked at him like my boss told me too. I looked down to see Sasori studying me curiously.

"This is quite the outfit you have on," He said slowly, as if savoring the words. A vein popped in my forehead, and somewhere out there, a window cracked.

"Like I said before-" I pointed to myself, "-UNDERCOVER."

"As _what_? A stripper?"

I blinked at the bitterness in his voice, my irritation taking the backseat for a moment. Then I fully absorbed what he had said, and it came back full force.

"I'M A WAITRESS, DUMBASS!" I shouted, flinging my bare drink tray at his smug face. Sasori caught it easily with two hands.

He sighed, "I see you've still got anger issues."

"I DON'T HAVE ANGER ISSUES!"

"..."

"Stupid ginger. Shut up."

"I didn't say anything."

"I SAID SHUT UP."

Me and Sasori glared at each other for a little while longer. Well, it was more like I glared at Sasori while Sasori just looked at me like the smug little bitch he is.

"So...posing as a waitress includes you wearing...that?" He asked after about two minutes. I win, bitch.

My outfit wasn't even that bad, I thought. At least when compared to the strippers. They had on underwear. I had a short black skirt, white camisol, and black sleeveless vest. Sure, the heels were sky-high, but if Ino could wear them on a daily basis, I could operate in them for one mission.

"What's wrong with it?" I asked defensively.

Sasori fidgeted, and I finally realized that, hey, _he _could be the Akatsuki member Tsunade told me was my target!

That coniving bitch.

She told me that I "would know the target when you see him. You've fought him before." HOW COULD SHE LEAVE OUT THAT IT WAS SASORI? DOES SHE EXPECT ME TO READ HER MIND?

_**Maybe she just didn't want to hear you freak out, **_Inner me whispered harshly. I pushed that thought to the back of my mind. It was ludicrous, anyway.

Something occured to me, and I looked back up at Sasori. "What are you doing here? Alone, I mean."

He stared at me coolly, and said "Thanks to you killing me six months ago, it took the Akatsuki a while to revive me. They all may be out on missions, but I'm still to sore to fight."

Well damn. At least I know I got in a few good hits.

"Huh, maybe I should killed you now while your weak, then." I pondered.

Sasori gave me this strangely twisted smirk, as if saying 'hah. Bitch. I know something you don't know'.

"With all these people around? I'm not the only S-class criminal in this club, Sakura, and not to offend, but you've got quite the bounty on your head. Ninja in here wouldn't hesitate to kill a little girl for that kind of money."

"And what makes them think they can take me?" I raised an eyebrow, hoping that it looked cool.

Sasori leaned across the small metal table, and I finally realized that I had unconsciously sat down across from him. The strobe lights danced around us in all colors of the rainbow, and the music was so loud I could barely hear when he whispered "I do hope you're not _that _hard to catch, Sa-ku-ra."

I blinked. "Are you coming on to me?"

Sasori leaned back and resumed him cool staring. "What if I am?"

_Well, then that makes my mission a whole lot easier. _I thought, but of course I wouldn't tell him that. Tsunade had assigned me a seduction mission, and she would only do that if there was some information on the line.

"Sakura?" Sasori waved a hand-a _human_ hand-in front of my face. "Quit zoning out."

My eye twitched, "Don't tell me what to do."

"I can't help it," His voice went all low and husky, "You're just so much fun when you're mad."

He grabbed a strand of my hand and started toying with it, making me deeply worry for his sanity. WTF did these S-class criminals think they were? This was my HAIR he was touching!

I smacked his hand away. "Not the hair."

"No need to get all Territorial," He said, amused by my scareface.

Oh _hell_ no. This means war, bitch.

"Sorry," I let a smile slowed creep it's way across my face and fluttered my eyelashes, like I see the girls in Ino's romance movies do all the time. "It must be the atmosphere in here, it's really getting to me."

Sasori smirked, pushing back his chair and walking around the table to stand behind mine. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Then maybe we should go somewhere...quieter."

HINT. HINT. This is my chance! Now, what did Tsunade tell me to ask, again? Oh yeah, she wants to find out if Kabuto has control of the Akatsuki yet, but I highly doubt that if Sasori is willingly dragging me down the street and into the inn he was obviously saying at...

Oh, shit. Sasori's not under Kabuto's control. The Akatsuki isn't under Kabuto's control. Or else he wouldn't have this free will, no matter what. Which meant that I was walking into a seedy looking inn with a dangerous S-class criminal...for no reason.

Double shit.

"Sasori," I started, trying to pull my hand away as he unlocked his room, "I just realized I need to get back to Konoha now..."

Sasori gave me a look that said, quite simply, 'This is the point of no return'.

Damn. Why did I always attract weirdos? Maybe it was the hair...

Back with the plot, I was finally realizing that Sasori-the one I 'killed'-wanted way more than revenge from me. This is all the phucking fangirls fault! WHY DID SASOSAKU HAVE TO BE SUCH A LOVED PAIRING?

As Sasori jerked the door open I acted on instinct and aimed a kick at his-ahem, his 'family jewels'. He dodged, yanked me into the inn room and shut and locked the door behind us.

"You know, I've been waiting for this encounter for a long time, Sakura." He started, obviously about to launch into some long monologue he practiced in front of his bathroom mirror. "At first, I thought I was so obsessed with you because I wanted revenge, but after a while, I realized that it was something else. Something-" He gave me a strange look, "Completely different."

"Um..." I said. Epic comeback, Sakura. That'll show 'em.

Sasori smiled sadistically at my speechless state. "You know, Sakura, I have to say I like your hair long rather than short."

I unconsiously tugged at a strand of my bubble gum pink hair. I liked it better long, too, but It's a pain to always have to shove it back into a ponytail while I'm fighting.

_Sakura. Focus. There's an S-class criminal right in front of us!_

_WELL, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT?_

_RUN BITCH RUN!_

"Um...it's kind of dark in here..." I hinted, staring around nervously in case a puppet popped out of the closet. I wasn't stupid enough to let my guard down around Sasori, no matter how hot he is.

Wait...did I...just call Sasori hot?

It was good that the lights were still off, that way nobody could see me blush.

"Sakura..." Sasori trailed off. I could tell from his tone that he was smirking. Seriously, his face is gonna freeze in that expression one day.

And suddenly he was way too close for comfort-like, fur real. That ginger was all up in my personal bubble-and I could feel his breath against the back of my neck.

"What the hell are you doing?" I struggled against his hold, but Sasori kept his arms firmly around my waist. "Let go!"

"I'm not trying to hurt you, brat." His hand snaked under my tight black skirt, which of course just made me struggled harder. I heard a snap, and watched as the thigh holder I had my kunai in fell to the ground, and Sasori's hand resurfaced with my kunai.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "A kunai? Is that the best weapon you brought?"

"My best weapon are my fists!" I snapped, aiming a skull-crushing punch at his face. Sasori ducked under my arm, and I smashed the fireplace instead.

"Hey! Careful, I have to pay for any damages to this room you know!" Sasori scolded.

I completely ignored him, and instead dusted myself off and got in position for another tussle. Instead, I found myself pinned to the wall by none other then...

Sasori!

Well, it sure as hell wasn't Ino. Sorry fanboys.

"I'd apprciate it if you didn't destroy my room with your monster strength."

I shrugged, "I can't help it."

He rested his forehead against mine and smirked down at me. "You can if I hold your arms for you." And suddenly-as if by magic-I was free. Sasori stepped back, admiring something I couldn't fathom.

"Well...if you have no plans to molest me, I'll just be on my merry way." And I tried to turn towards the door and run like a wild hog, but I couldn't move. Then the worst thought occurred to me.

"D-did you attach _chakra strings_on me?" I gasped, horrified. His smug smirk was all I needed for confirmation.

Shit. This is worse than being caught in Shikamaru's shadow jutsu! I tried to calm my thoughts and think for a second. Use your noggin, Sakura, GET US OUT OF HERE.

"You know, they say a women with fire in her eyes has the world at her feet." Sasori murmured, ghosting around me as if I were modeling an outfit for him.

I sneered at him, "And they say a man with fire in his eyes won't be able to see for a while."

"Very funny," Sasori smiled dryly, "But that was not my point."

"Right. Your point is in your pants."

"Don't be stupid. I'm more civil than that."

"...you've got me trapped here with chakra strings, Sasori."

"Your point?"

"Like I said, _you're _the one with the point."

How come I never had this kind of banter with Sai or Naruto or Sasuke?

Oh yeah, because they aren't S-class criminals WHO SHOULD BE DEAD. NOT MOLESTING ME VIA CHAKRA STRINGS.

"I'm warning you," I threatened, hoping I sounded murderous. "Don't piss me off. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies."

"You really should consider joining the Akatsuki, Sakura."

"You really should consider going back to being dead, Sasori."

"And why would I do that?" He was suddenly whispering against my lips, and, poor little me, I couldn't even kick him.

Just as I was about to reply with a wonderfully witty comment, my phone went off.

"'Sexyback' by Justin Timberlake?" Sasori deadpanned.

I blushed, "Shut up! It's a good song!" Then I remembered that Naruto had promised to call, and I should pick it up to tell him to come save me...

"Can you get that for me?" I asked Sasori, trying to hide my blush.

He stared at me fora moment, then, finally "Where is it?"

My blush deepened. "My back pocket..."

Sasori nodded, and, not moving his face away from mine or breaking eye contact, reached both hands into my back pockets and felt around until one found my phone. The other stayed in place while he checked the caller I.D. and flipped the phone open.

Sasori held the cell to my ear and retreated to kissing my neck.

"Sakura-chan? Hey, me and teme wanted to treat you to lunch, but we couldn't find you!"

"Lady Tsunade sent me on a mission," I said, barely holding back a gasp as Sasori hit a sensitive spot on my neck.

"Dobe-gimme the phone-" Sasuke said, probably trying to pry Naruto's new ninja cell from his hand. "NOOOO! NOT NARUTO JR!"

"Of all the things he could name his phone..." I mumbled. Sasori smirked against my neck, and brought his face back to being level with mine.

"Sakura? Where are you?" Sasuke demanded. In the background, I heard Naruto yelling something about Sasuke being a teme and how he was gonna go all gangsta on his chicken-ass for takin' his boo.

And yes, by boo I meant Naruto Jr.

Sasori grabbed the back of my head, roughly tangling his fingers in my hair. He sntched the phone from me and tossed it to the ground, definately disconnecting the call. If I could move, I would dove after it, but as it is I was completely at Sasori's mercy.

"You know, you're cute when you blush." He said, tracing my lips with his finger. I should bite him.

"I'm always cute." I snapped. It was the truth. I was a-fucking-dorable.

Sasori chucked, his other hand exploring my thigh. "True enough." And then he kissed me, fully on the lips. It was slow at first, but by the time my phone started ringing again we were playing tonsil hockey.

He pushed me up against the wall, one hand moving to pin my arms against the wall, the other holding my waist. I wondered why he need to do that if I had chakra strings attached to me, then realized that he'd taken them off me.

I also realized that I was enjoying making out with Sasori.

Shit.

_BOOM!_

That was the sound of the door being shot down by twenty Naruto clones. And one Sasuke.

"SAKURA-CHAN! WE'VE COME TO SAVE YOU!" The twenty Narutos all yelled at one. I sweatdropped. Really, couldn't they have just sent Kakashi?

"KYUUBI!" Sasori gasped, enraged. He pulled a few scrolls out from under his sleeves, preparing for a battle. He'd never win, though, at least not in his weakened condition. Apparently our make-out session was a thing of the past.

And so, the battle began. It just escalated when Sai finally snuck in.

_I was wondering where he was..._

_Hey, I should just ditch all of them and go shopping with Ino. I heard that this place has some great boutiques. _

"Hello?" Ino picked up after two rings. Yes, I counted.

"Hey, I'm in Hidden Mist. How fast can you get here, and, more importantly, how much money have you got to spend?"

"Meet you at the village entrance in five."

I snapped the phone shut. That was Ino, always up for a shopping spree. I calmly left the boys to their fighting, but not without calling back "We'll finish this later tonight, Sasori!"

"WHAT?" The outraged scream came from three different males. And none of them were gingers.

_Hah, _I thought. _That'll teach him to stay dead. _

o()o

**The End **

_**Does this deserve a sequel?**_

o()o

_**Let me know!**_

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